The Fill-In Boyfriend
by Lexiconiful
Summary: Completed. I do not own New Girl or the characters. Takes place after The Cooler. Jess needs a fake boyfriend to take to a faculty party in order to save her from unsavory coworkers. Fluffy, funny, shades of romance and friendship. Reviews inspire me!
1. Chapter 1

"You have to do this, Nick", Jess put her hands on her hips. "You owe me."

"I'm not going to faculty party, Jess." Nick leaned to the side to see the tv she was standing in front of. "I don't owe you that much."

"You so totally do." She turned the tv off and he threw his hands up in exasperation. "Sam was supposed to go, and be amazing, and keep the creepy chemistry professor away who keeps hitting on me in that creepy mad-scientist way." Nick made his 'what' face and she pointed at him with her teacher finger. "Don't look at me like that. That creeper probably makes rufies in his classroom when he's alone!"

He shook his head at her. "I'm sorry, Jess. College parties, yes. College Faculty parties, no way." He snorted a little when she crossed her arms and stamped her foot.

"Your fault equals you're going. You're going to be my pretend boyfriend and make sure that I don't end up drugged in the back of a van. 7pm tomorrow, Miller," and with that she flounced away towards her room.

"Pfft. I'm not going to some stupid party," Nick muttered as he turned to tv back on. "With stupid college professors," he took a swig of beer. "And Jess' creepy co-workers...," he paused as his imagination conjured up a room full of balding men with sweaty palms and lab coats...and Jessica trapped in a corner being offered a drink.

"Damn it," he muttered. "Fine! I'll go to your damn party," he yelled from the couch.

"Damn right you will!" She yelled back.  
-


	2. Chapter 2

Nick straightened his sports coat as he got out of the car. "So do I have to fake being a doctor?" He asked as Jess came around to meet him. They had a minor slap fight as he tried to keep her from messing with his tie.

"Just let me... no," she answered as she finished fixing his tie. "I never gave any details. These people aren't like my old coworkers. I don't sit around and chew the fat with anyone." She pouted a little and sighed, "I've been asked to leave the staff lounge by three different people because they thought I was a student."

Nick looked at the blue 'cocktail' dress Jess was wearing as they walked towards the building. It had a skirt she could twirl (and she had) and she had bows in her hair. "Uh, Jess. You do look...," he took a step back and put his hands up when she whirled around to glare at him. "Like a teacher! You look like a grown-up, college teacher, is what I was going to finish saying."

"Nick," she said clearly and slowly. He had mentally always called this her patient-teacher voice. "Your fake boyfriend duties start right now. What did I tell you in the car?"

"Rule number one, be nice to you in front of others," he sighed and rolled his eyes as she started counting along with her fingers. "Number two, don't leave you alone with anyone for more than 2 minutes."

"And?" She tapped her foot.

"Aaaand go along with everything you say," he finished obediently.

"Right," she hooked her arm through his and started towards the party once more. "I need this job and I don't want to get fired because I punched inappropriate someones. You're here to make me look good, save me from tipsy coworkers, and keep me from being bored out of my mind. Got it?"

He opened the door into the admin building where the party was being held and motioned for her to proceed. "Got it, kid. Let's get this over with."

"


	3. Chapter 3

Ms. Day, I'm glad you could make it." A middle-aged woman in a power suit met them at the door with a drink in her hand. "It's always a pleasure to get to know the new faculty. She gestured at Nick with her drink, which he was sure was a gin and tonic, "And who might this be?"

Jess put her arm through Nick's in what she thought was an affectionate and girl-friendy manner. "Dr. Clark this is my boyfriend, Nick." She felt him give a little jerk of surprise as she said it out loud. "Nick, this is the head of the English Department, and my boss, Dr. Melissa Clark."

Dr. Clark looked Nick up and down for a moment before she extended her hand towards him, finger-tips first.

Nick didn't know if she was offering her hand for a weak handshake or if he was supposed to kiss it. He glanced a Jess and saw her staring at the hand, too. No help there. What the hell. He reached out and gingerly shook her hand by the fingertips. "Nice to meet you."

"Yes, well." She took a sip of her drink and waved towards the far wall. "There's an open bar over there. Give it another hour for the drinks to take effect and the party should get a bit better." And with that, she walked away to greet the other new comers.

Nick looked at Jess, unsure as to whether or not he was allowed to laugh. "Looks like I didn't have to worry. A college party is a college party." He patted the hand that was still tucked in his arm. "Can I buy you a free drink, babe?" he the last word overly loud as they passed close to a group of guys who were eyeing Jess and her blue dress.

She knew what he was doing and smiled up a him, "Awww. Thanks, sweetie." He gave her a look and mouthed 'sweetie?'. She mouthed right back him with a lift of her eyebrows, 'babe?'.

He shrugged in resignation as they joined the queue at the bar. "Sweetie it is."

"I don't know," Jess was now bopping along to the music as the line inched forward. "There's a whole realm of possibilities. How about 'sugar pie'?" When Nick just stood there with his hands in his pockets staring at her with his turtle expression, she exclaimed, "Oh! Oh! I know. 'Snookums'!" She put up her hand for a high five.

His expression never changed as he stared at her hand. "Call me snookums and you'll regret it." He thought about it a moment as she put her hand down and pouted. "I'll regret it more, but I'll make sure you do too."

"Ahh. Come on, Nick. We've done this before," she said with cheerleaderish enthusiasm.

He grunted, "Yeah, cause I'm so free flowing in the endearment department."

"No!", she thought for a moment. "Though that's true. I mean at your cousin's wedding. You know, when I was your hot, unsuccessful, Caroline deterrent of a slutty fake girlfriend." Nick watched with a smirk as Jess made what she thought were 'hot' poses.

God, she was embarrassing. And adorable.

And he was ready for it when she tripped as she tried to dip a shoulder at him while winking. He caught her by the elbow and watched as she tried to smooth her dress out to gain back some of her dignity. "And now it's your turn, Miller. What moves do you have in the fake boyfriend department?"

Nick thought about it for a moment. "I dunno. I could get drunk and clingy. That's always worked great for me in the past. Hey." he said in greeting to the bartender as they finally made it to the bar. "Whiskey on the rocks, please." He pointed at Jess. "And a vodka with cranberry juice, thanks."

He handed her her drink. "Aww. You do know what I like sweetie." She put her arm through his as they started to meander. "Ten points for Gryffindor, sir."

"Ehh," Nick shook his head and took a sip. "I'm pretty sure I'm a Ravenclaw. What?" He asked when she just stared at him. P

"Okay, first off, high five for the HP regency at a grown-up party." After the high five she made an aggrieved stance and gestured with her drink, "and second, who doesn't automatically want to be in Gryffindor? That's just weird."

"It's not weird. It's means that I'm comfortable with my brainy intellect." He gritted his teeth when she giggled. "All authors are intellectuals, Jessica."

"Of course they are, Nick," she assured him.

He could have done without the condescending pat on arm. "Whatever, Hufflepuff."

"I am not a Hufflepuff!" Jess stamped her foot.

"Of course you are," he said simply. "I've taken the Sorting Hat test for you, like ten times."

"Is that why you kept yelling out those questions to me from your room like, 'you found a bag of gold. What do you do next'?" She asked. "I thought you were playing online D&D."

Nick shrugged. "You're nice, Jess. You're a good, honest person. " He put his finger under her chin and raised her head from where she'd been staring morosely at her feet. "Wear your house colors with pride, kid."

Jess didn't look appeased and poked him in the chest with her finger. "We are taking that test again when we get home, Miller."

"Careful there with the man-handling," He straightened his tie from the poke she gave him and grinned at her. "You're really getting into this couple thing."

"Hey!" She said indignantly. "I am awesome at being a couple. And I don't normally do the poking thing...shut up Nick," she nearly wailed as he started to laugh. "You know what I mean."

He tried to sober up, but he couldn't quite stop the snickering. "I know, Jess. I've seen you. Normally you're all...", he cut off abruptly as she leaned into him, putting her head on his chest and the arm not holding her drink around his waist. He put his hands up as they didn't know where to go. "Yeah! Whoa! Like this, I know!"

"Shhh, Nick," she whispered, looking up at him with those big blue eyes through her lashes. "He's heading this way."

Nick put his arms around her protectively and looked around. "The creepy chemist?"

"Yes! Shh! Here he come...hi Scott!" Jess said brightly at someone behind Nick.

Nick turned sideways with Jess still in his arms, expecting to see some sceezy old guy who looked like an extra from Breaking Bad. When he saw the gilt-haired, ripped Adonis in Schmidt clothes, he naturally looked around him to look for Jess' creeper, but he stopped when she turned around in his arms then wrapped his arms around her waist again.

She snuggled back into Nick. "Scott, this is my boyfriend I told you about, Nick," she reached back and up and patted his jaw. "Nick, Scott works in the science department."

Nick hated Scott. Nick thought that Scott looked like a soccer playing 'roid junkie. "Hey," Nick nodded at him and noted that the asshole had yet to stop leering at Jess.

Scott ignored his greeting and smiled slowly at Jess. "Chemistry, specifically. After all, everything runs on chemistry. Isn't that right, Jessica?"

Nick could tell she was creeped out by the grip she had on his arm and the way she kept pressing back in to him. He squeezed her waist a bit in reassurance. "I'm a bit of a chemist myself, ya know." Both Scott and Jessica looked at him. "What? I'm a bartender."

Scott sneered at him but Jess' mouth dropped open in surprised delight. "Oh my god, you totally are!" She stepped out of his arms to turn around and look at him, inadvertently turning her back on Scott. "I never thought of that before. But it's true. Oh, oh! You're a mixologist," she was bouncing on her toes at this point.

"That's right Jess," Nick looked over head and smirked at the chemistry jock. "I'm a mix scientist."

"That's not a real thing," Scott scoffed, sounding like a twelve year old. He reached out to touch one of Jess' curls in order to draw her attention back to him, but Nick drew quickly out of reach and behind him.

Jess' eyes were huge. He knew she didn't know what had happened, but she trusted him. She rested her head on his back and wrapped her arms around him. He covered her hands (and the vodka and cranberry juice she still held) with his.

He looked Scott in the eye. "Don't do that, man."

Scott walked right up to him until his toes touched his. He towered over Nick by a good six inches. "Don't tell me what to do...bartender," he said menacingly.

Oh, shit, Nick thought. I am going to get my ass kicked.

Right then the chemistry-jock jumped back a foot with a curse, wiping at the giant red stain on his crotch. Some of the crowd started to snicker.

Jessica stepped out from behind Nick holding her now empty glass. "I'm so sorry, Scott," she said in a sing-songy voice that reeked of insincerity. "You bumped my drink there." She grabbed Nick's hand and headed away from the gathering crowd. "Sorry about your pants!"she yelled as they walked away.

"That was amazing!" Nick said as they moved to a quiet corner of the room. He was so excited and relieved that he hadn't gotten punched in the face that he picked Jess up in a hug and spun her around. She laughed and held onto his shoulders, but stopped when their eyes met. Nick stopped turning and just held her, their eyes level.

"Thanks for saving me," Jess said softly. She saw his eyes go to her mouth and linger for a moment and she knew he was thinking of their kiss. God knew she was. But he squeezed his eyes shut and his arms held her a little tighter for a moment before he carefully, carefully put her back down and stepped away from her.

He looked down at the ground and let out a breath. Dammit. It was like having one potato chip. When he looked back up at her he gave her what she considered his 'sweet' smile, "I think that's my line. Nice work with the crotch shot."

She shrugged and made little puppets out her hands that started to talk to each other, "He's all gettin' in your face and I'm like 'thank you for the opportunity to ruin your pants and your evening, sir'," she finished in a loud British accent.

Nick just smiled. "Exactly." He offered her his arm. "Care for another drink, milady?"

Jess took it and leaned her head against his arm. "Yes, please. Only this time I think we should call it 're-arming'."

And with a laugh they made their way back to the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

"Armed and ready, soldier?" Nick asked as they strolled away from the bar once again.

"Aye aye, sir," Jess saluted.

"So," Nick looked down at his drink. "Any more chemists that we need to throw drinks on or was that it?"

"He was the worst one." She took a sip of her drink and shrugged. "Most are like Harry over there," she waved at a chubby guy looking at them from behind a plant. "Hi, Harry."

Nick felt like pulling his hair out in frustration. He yanked her hand down as Harry turned beet red and slinked away. "Don't talk to your stalkers, Jessica! It's like feeding stray cats. They'll never go away if you keep doing that."

"But it's so hard for computer programmers to make friends, Nick." She said with a sympathetic look at the group of misfits in the corner looking at their phones so they wouldn't have to make eye contact.

"Nope," he said simply with a shake of his head. He took her hand and started to pull her to anywhere else in the room.

Jess grinned and rolled her eyes at Nick's overprotectiveness as she was tugged along. Tonight he was there to save her from a crappy party and crappier people. She glanced down at their clasped hands and curled her fingers just a little tighter. He was doing a great job.

Nick felt her hand squeeze his. He looked back at her. "You okay?" At her nod he continued forward until he brought them to a small oasis of space against a wall. "Holy cow, Jess." He leaned against the wall and looked at the room that was seemed to be suddenly full of people. "I'm not sure you should work here. I don't think these people are all there, if you know what I mean." he pointed to a man in a suit and a Paul Revere hat.

She looked at him in disbelief. "That's what's-his-name, the history professor. Plus, you say that like you've never seen me wear a prairie bonnet while I'm watching Little House in the Prairie."

"Hey now," he put down his drink. "What weirdness one does in their own home is their business," he said consolingly.

He looked around and snorted. "The security here sucks! I'm pretty sure some students snuck into this thing, too." He gestured with the hand that still held hers at what looked to be a short 20 year old coed in a mini skirt.

At that moment the mini skirt saw them and bounced over. "Oh my Gawd! Jess! Is this him?" She asked slyly. Her valley girl twang made Nick's Chicago sensibilities wince.

"Hi Amber," she replied with forced enthusiasm. A note in her voice made Nick instinctively let go of her hand in order to put his arm around her shoulders. "Yes. This is my boyfriend, Nick. Nick, this is Amber Wallace. She teaches English 101."

Nick could almost see the air quotes around 'teaches'.

Upon closer inspection, he could see that Amber was probably in her late 20's, but fashion-wise she was holding tooth and nail onto her late teens.

She blinked false lashes up at Nick. "I kept trying to set Jess up with some of the stud muffins on campus, but noooo she had a boyfriend," Amber said in a mocking voice as though wasn't a good enough reason.

The mockery left her voice as she stepped closer to Nick, ignoring Jess. "Of course, now that I met you I understand," she nearly cooed.

Suddenly Jess' face was in hers. "What part of boyfriend do you not understand, Amber!" She didn't yell, but she wasn't quiet, either.

Both and Nick and Amber jumped. Amber nearly fell backwards but righted herself quickly, patting her hair. She shot Jess a look of pure dislike. "Boyfriend is such a stupid, limiting label." She smiled at Nick again. "For both parties." And at that she turned on her 'hooker heels' as Jessica called them and sauntered away.

Jess put her drink down and took a step towards her retreating back but Nick quickly put his arms around her waist and hauled her back against his chest. She mock-fought his hold as she made clawing motions in the air with her hands. "I can take that bitch, Nick. Let me at 'er."

He trapped her arms against her sides and turned her around to face him. She noticed that he looked both freaked out and like he was going to start laughing. "Thanks for protecting my virtue there, Jess." He carefully let go of her arms and gave them a light rub. "Is this how you protect all your pretend boyfriends?"

She took a calming breath that came out more like a huff. "Of course! Cat fights over my man are par for the course for this playa."

Nick smiled as she bit her lip and threw what she thought were gang signs. "You know you just used a golf term and 'playa' in the same sentence, don't you?" He asked seriously.

She dropped her hands at her side."Is that what that is?" At his nod she sighed and moved to his side to lean with him against the wall. "This is normal, right?" She asked. "There's always an office slut and a creepy guy, right?"

His shrug and "pretty much" made her laugh.

He bumped his shoulder against hers. "I gotta tell ya, Jess. I'm not gonna lie to you," he paused and she looked at him. He gestured to encompass the room. "Your coworkers scare me."

"Me too, Nick." She patted his arm then leaned her head against his shoulder. "Me too."


	5. Chapter 5

"How much longer do we have to stay?" Nick whined.

Jess had carefully maneuvered them around the room for the past hour, avoiding people she graciously called 'interesting' and even pulling Nick onto the postage stamp-sized dance floor more than once. When Nick finally put his foot down and refused to dance, standing in the middle of the floor with a scowl and his arms crossed, they'd pulled some chairs to the sidelines to sit and watch the party.

"Hush, pretend-boyfriend," she intoned imperiously as she adjusted her skirt. "Know your place," she admonished with a shake of her finger.

Bored, hungry, and now worried about Jessica's work environment, Nick snapped, "Not real surprised at the 'pretend' if that's how you talk to your real boyfriends, Jess."

When the snappy retort he was expecting didn't come, he looked her way. She sat just a little smaller in her chair, fiddling dejectedly with one of her hair bows that had fallen out.

He was mentally kicking his own ass ten ways to Sunday. "Hey," He reached out and put his hand over hers. She looked at him, her big blue eyes dry, but sad and his gut twisted. "I'm sorry, Jess," he said sincerely.

She nodded and shrugged. "I dunno, Nick. Maybe you're right."

Nick rolled his eyes and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I am not right. I'm never right."

She nodded in agreement and he gave her shoulders a little warning squeeze. She looked up at him, "What if I _am_ a bad girlfriend, Nick? I could have sucked at this for years and never known."

She sounded so sad and it was killing him. "You," he said seriously, comparing in his mind how differently Jess and Caroline treated their men, "are a great girlfriend, Jessica Day. Any schlub would be lucky to have a girl like you. Which I am!" He said loudly and suddenly, making her jump. "I'm so lucky you're my girlfriend!"

"Nick, what...," she started, but caught the 'stop and go along with it' face that Nick was making. "That's right," she said loudly without looking away from Nick's. "But you _too_ are an awesome boyfriend," she finished dramatically.

Nick leaned in and Jess knew that to an onlooker it would look like he was either whispering sweet nothings or he was sticking his tongue in her ear. "Laying it on a bit thick there, Jess," he warned with a whisper.

She closed her eyes as his hot breath wafted over her ear. "Like you aren't," she whispered back.

"Aren't you two adorable." A shadow fell over their chairs and Jessica looked up to see her boss smiling at them, more than a little tipsy. The esteemed Dr. Clark had taken off (or lost) the jacket to her suit and taken her hair out of the classy up-do. It now flew around her face in a wild tangle.

She clapped her hands, sloshing part of what appeared to be a martini with olives onto the floor and her pants. "Bravo on christening the man-whore of the Science department, Ms. Day. I saw the whole thing," she slurred conspiratorially.

"Thaaanks, Dr. Clark," Jess said carefully after a moment...as the older woman just stood there grinning at them. Nick rubbed her shoulder and she could tell he was as uncomfortable as she was. "But, you should know that was a complete accident."

Nick and Dr. Clark snorted at the same time.

"What?" He whispered when Jess elbowed him.

Her boss just grinned wider and reached out to pinch Nick's cheek, granny-style. He flinched back, but couldn't avoid it. "Sooo freakin' cute!" She let him go and straightened up. Taking a breath, she raised her now mostly empty glass in a toast. "Ms. Day," her serious tone still carried a slur, "I look forward to your work in the future."

They watched her walk away, pausing to kick off her pumps as she made her way back to the bar.

Nick rubbed the sting out of his cheek. "If I were at work, I'd take her keys away at this point," he told Jess. He winced as she pinched the butt of the middle-aged bartender. "I'd also start a silent pool as to when her shirt was coming off."

Jess laughed. "I like her a lot more now. She's much less scary as a lush," she admitted. "This place might not be so bad."

"That's great, Jess." Nick took a careful breath lifted his arm off of her shoulders. He had been cuddling her into his side without even thinking about it. He didn't want her to uncomfortable with him and he'd already screwed that up once.

The warmth of his arm leaving her shoulders made her look at him. He looked a little strained. She smiled at him. He'd been a real trooper. "I think our work here is done, sweetie. You ready to go?"

His heartfelt, "oh, thank god!" was answer enough.


	6. Chapter 6

Nick stood up and dusted off his pants. "Alright, let's blow this hotdog stand."

Jessica gave him a look as he gave her a hand up. "Popsicle stand," she said simply.

He looked around, "They have Popsicles here too?" He sounded kind of excited.

"No, Nick." She explained patiently. "The expression is 'let's blow this popsicle stand'."

"That's ridiculous." He scoffed. "Have you ever even see a Popsicle stand? Trucks, yes." He conceded, "but not stands."

She sighed softly and put her arm through his. "Okay, Nick. You win. Let's blow this hotdog stand." She looked up at him when he snickered. "What?"

"Nothing." He bit his lip to try and stop the juvenile grin. "It's just funny when you say it...never mind." He jerked back when she tried to pinch him through his jacket. "I said never mind!"

He grabbed her hand and started to pull her along towards the exit. The party had gotten larger and a lot more lively in the past few hours. As a result, they had to zig and zag their way around the room, dodging people, elbows, and random groups of dancers. More than once she found herself turned around by Nick with a near panicked 'retreat, retreat' yelled at her over the din.

When they neared a wall she recognized, she tugged on the back of his jacket. "Hey!" she said loudly. "I'm going to the little girls room."

Nick turned to look at her with a stricken look on his face. "Come on, Jess," he groaned. "Can't you hold it?"

"Why would I do that?" She pointed to the door ten feet away. "It's right there and there's no line. There's no line , Nick!" She said in a near squeal.

She started to walk away and he grabbed her arm. "But they're touching me!" He whispered vehemently through his teeth, then did a whole body cringed as someone brushed against him. "I'll take you to a nice, classy, McDonald's restroom once we get out here, please."

Jess gave him a look before she took her arm back. "They don't have cooties, Nick."

"You don't know that," he yelled after her. "Don't you have to go in pairs? Take me with you!" She just waved at him before disappearing behind the door.

"Great," he groused, throwing his hands up. "What happened to 'don't leave me alone, Nick'. What about me?" He turned around and caught two women staring at him as muttered to himself "Hi. Great party", he said with a small wave and what he knew was a horribly fake smile.

They inched around him, eyeing him warily.

"And for my next trick I'll frighten a bunch of small kids." He hung his head and willed Jessica to go faster.

"You know," a voice drawled behind him. "I could tell Jessica that you were out here flirting with other chicks the two minutes she was busy."

Nick turned around slowly to see Scott leaning against the wall. He took a moment to look him over. A ruined pair of pants hadn't slowed him down. He still wore the nice shirt and tie he'd had on before, but now he was sporting a pair nylon basketball shorts and tennis shoes. It was an interesting combination.

He also recognized the signs of a man who was one drink away from passing out.

What the hell. It was worth a try.

"Hey, man", he waited until Scott's eyes met his. "You should leave her alone. She doesn't like you and frankly, you creep her out. You kinda creep me out too," he admitted, "but that could just be the shorts."

Scott took a step towards him but tottered and had to grab the wall. "You think you're better than me, bartender?" He threw his empty plastic cup at Nick's feet. "You think you deserve a girl like her?"

Nick watched the cup spin in place and shook his head. "Nah man, I'm not better than you. Well," he shrugged, "I'm not a dick that hits on another guy's girl. I'm one up on you there."

He put a hand up when Scott lurched towards him again. "But, no." He said sincerely with another shake of his head. "No way in hell I deserve girl like Jess. She's smart and sexy and funny. Goofy as all get out," he conceded, "but she's always there for you." He looked down at the floor, the hand he'd held out to ward off Scott rubbing absently at his chest.

"Yeah, like that's ever true," Scott snorted derisively. "Women just lure you in then stomp the shit out of you."

"I've been there, man." Nick looked at him with pity and understanding. "But they're out there. Rarer than hens teeth," he admitted. "But girls like Jess are out there and worth waiting for. Ya just gotta not be a dick in the meantime," he pointed out helpfully.

Scott stared at him a moment, one eye closed as he tried to keep Nick in focus. "If that's true, then you're one lucky bastard," he said with drunken envy.

"Tonight I am," Nick agreed quietly with a small smile. "Tonight, I am one lucky bastard."

Scott suddenly threw himself at him and with a curse Nick braced himself for a hit. Instead, he was picked up in a bone-crushing hug. "That's great, man," Scott said with a sniff.

Nick was dropped suddenly, but managed to keep his balance. Not his dignity, he thought, but his balance. He nearly lost that when Scott slapped his shoulder.

"Hey there, Jess!" Scott suddenly called out cheerfully.

Nick turned around slowly and surely enough, there she was. Her eyes were huge(er) and her mouth was slightly open as though in shock. Now the question was whether it was because Scott was treating him like his new best friend...or because she'd heard what he'd said.

He was about to start sputtering in panic when Scott scooped Jess up in a hug, too. Her 'eek' of surprise had Nick moving to yank her out of his arms, but Scott set her gently back down on her feet.

"I'm so glad he has you," he said happily. And with a pat on her head he teetered away.

Neither Nick or Jess moved for a moment, then they looked at each other and each let out a slow breath.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Are you okay? I thought you fell in for a minute there," he said jokingly, watching her face for clues.

She pointed in the direction Scott had went. "What the hell?" Oh god, she'd heard. He hunched and waited for the verbal slap. "Why was he hugging you?" Realization dawned and she made an ick face and brushed at the front of her dress. "Scratch that. Why did he hug me?"

He mentally and physically sighed with relief. She hadn't heard him. And because of that, he didn't have to try and pretend that everything he'd said hadn't been absolutely true.

"Oh, you know. The new pants really mellowed him out. That and probably about ten beers." He took her hand and started heading towards the exit once again. "Lucky for us he's a happy drunk."

"Nick."

Her voice, though quiet, cut through the noise of the room and made him stop. He didn't turn around. "Yeah, Jess?"

She didn't say anything for a moment, them she cleared her throat. "You've been a great fill-in boyfriend tonight. Top marks across board."

He squeezed her hand and grinned at her over his shoulder before he continued towards the doors. "Hey, an upgrade from 'pretend' to 'fill-in'," he teased. "Do I get a raise?"

"Doofus," Jess said and tried not to cry. No guy had ever said such things about her before. She took a deep breath and looked a Nick's back. She couldn't let him know she'd heard everything if they wanted things to back to normal. "How about I buy you a Popsicle, instead."

"You're on kid," Nick said and held the door open for her.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm just saying that a fudgepop isn't the same thing as a Popsicle", Nick argued as he held open the loft door.

Jess shook her head sadly. "Your world is so narrow, Nick." She poked him with her now-empty fudgepop stick. "Now I feel sorry for all the push-ups and fudgepops that you ignore just because they aren't", she made air quotation marks, "popsicles."

"Philistine!"

"Elitist!"

They were still grinning at each other when Winston walked in wearing boxer shorts and carrying a bag of chips.

"Heeey, you guys," he said, making them jump. "How was the party?"

"It was fine," Jess replied casually. "Nick gave an Oscar winning performance in the pretend boyfriend category." She made Vanna White motions while Nick bowed.

Winston looked at them skeptically. "Really."

"Yes, really." Nick said smugly, then paused. "Even though I almost got in a fight and", he said indignantly, "Jess wouldn't let me have more that two drinks all night!"

"Wait." Winston held up a hand. "What about your flask? You always have that thing."

Nick pointed to Jess. She took it out of her purse and handed it over. "And thank you sir, for your cooperation."

"Oh yeah," Nick continued, "And her man-eater of a coworker tried to poach me." He paused and shrugged, "Which felt kind of nice, but anyway..."

"He did great," Jess interrupted. "He was polite, helped me avoid confrontation...mostly. Oh, and he became friends with the guy who originally wanted to beat him up. It was adorable," she drawled teasingly, enjoying the look on his face.

"Huh." Winston looked at Nick who was still staring at Jess and shaking his head. "So how many times did you have to change your shirt tonight." He laughed and turned to Jess. "Was he all Niagra Falls under that jacket." He shook his head in pity. It must have been all sorts of nasty."

He took in their blank faces, then asked, "You did lie to a room full of people all night long about you two, right?"

Nick froze.

Jess looked perplexed for a moment and then the light dawned. "Oh, no!" She turned to Nick who was now clutching his jacket shut. "I didn't think of that! Are you okay?"

"It's fine," he assured her with a nervous shrug. He circled around her, keeping his back turned away until he could started walking backward towards his room.

She followed him, reaching for his jacket. He jerked away. "Is there chafing?" She asked worriedly.

"I sprayed my whole torso with deodorant, so it was mostly fine," he said again, waving her away as he reached his room and fumbled with the door one handed.. "I'm just a little damp. I'm going to change right now." And with that he went in and closed the door before she could respond.

Jess stood there for a moment, clasping her hands together as she stared at the door. "I feel so bad", she admitted to Winston, who had followed them into the hallway. "I didn't even consider his lying problem when I made him do this." She wrapped her arms around herself. "Am I a bad friend?" She asked pitifully.

Winston patted her hunched shoulders. "Nah, Jess," he assured her. "Besides, sweat-back still owes you."

"True," she admitted, but she still looked anxious. "But he did such a nice job tonight I didn't even notice that he was nervous." She sighed and with a last glance at Nick's door she turned towards her room. "I guess he's getting better at lying."

Winston waited for Jessica's door to close before he went to Nick's room and threw open the door.

Nick jumped up from where he'd been sitting on the bed. "Geez Winston!" He looked nervously into the hallway. "Close the door," he whispered forcefully.

He closed the door and looked at the now-jacketless figure before him. "Turn around, Nick" he ordered, crossing his arms.

"I'm fine." He put up a hand when Winston moved towards him. "It's nasty back there," he said urgently, slapping his hands away. "Nobody wants to see that, man!"

He closed his eyes in resignation as Winston jerked him around and saw his back.

Nick kept his eyes closed for a moment then opened them to see Winston glaring at him. He covered his crotch just in case.

"You're an idiot," Winston said simply.

"No, I'm not." He sat down on his bed again, still covering his Sharons. "Pretending isn't the same thing as lying, Winston," he reasoned.

Winston huffed then flicked him in the forehead.

"Ow!"

He pointed his finger right in Nick's face. "Do not," he said with heavy emphasis, "fall in love with Jessica, Nick. Kissing is one thing," he threw up his hands and moved towards the door. "But falling in love with her might just ruin your life. And mine!" He said dramatically and let himself out, slamming it as he left.

Nick rubbed at the welt on his forehead and sighed. He felt the cool apartment air move over his perfectly dry back and thought of the time he'd spent with Jessica tonight. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, buddy," he admitted softly to the quiet room.

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to review if you like the story.


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